I've phrased this as "this is supposed to be the first time he wants to know things about someone without having to ask them," but the real issue at hand is the line of thinking, "Hey, if I hadn't been so willing to let this person's private life alone, I wouldn't be as upset or surprised by my (boy)friend's disappearance right now."

Boiling that down gets us "I can't ask this person everything about their life, what can I do/have done to have more information?"

Does that work?